I hate to be that whiny NYU kid — really, I do. No matter how ironic or sarcastic this column could possibly be, we are reviled simply because we exist.
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That said, God damn if spring break wasn't long enough, and God damn if the Starbucks on Washington Square Park is not always in a state of near-Blackberry-convention levels of crowded. Where am I supposed to park myself and unfurl my wondrous MacBook when three quarters of the student body is simultaneously sucking down their soy-frappe crap in between classes? Life is difficult. Stress is wearing on me.
We've only gotten through one week in this final bit of the semester and I am exhausted. Everyone else I talk to? They're exhausted, too. There is exhaustion in the air. I don't know how we handle our four-day weeks anymore.
It probably could be attributed thusly: A great many of us have midterms and papers due in the two weeks after spring break. That could rightfully be thought of as "bogus." That Sunday before classes started, I was up until 3:30 in the morning pumping out a stunning array of compositions. Perhaps, you say, I shouldn't have spent two hours that evening watching Rod Blagojevich stumble his way to terminal shame on "The Celebrity Apprentice." Maybe I should've even taken a moment or two during my actual break to get some of that work done.
I don't buy what you're selling responsibility bots. Why should I have to worry about work at all over my break, a meager week's reprieve from the stress and terror of the semester? Doesn't that kind of ruin the whole point? The fact that this nightmare of work is somehow carrying into my second and third weeks back is really heinous, NYU, just heinous.
Here's the thing: Professors have to consider that midterms should happen a bit closer to the middle of the semester, that the dwindling ranks in class attendance leading up to spring break are probably a sign that a great many of us have had enough. The post-break work blitz is the final crushing blow that cements our need for truancy and, well, doesn't everyone lose when that starts to happen?
Were professors to cushion the blow somewhat and opt into the unspoken agreement that students can handle days of unrestrained misery prior to break so long as that means oceans of mint julep afterwards, well, I wouldn't be sitting elbow-to-elbow with someone in Starbucks eight days after we all got back, ferociously hammering at my keyboard 10 minutes prior to a "Research Methods" exam.
It's appropriate that, should you find this column hideously annoying, you have only the surge of after-break work to blame. The textbooks and numbers are getting to me, constricting my creativity, driving me to rigid lunacy. It's like being asked to weed Union Square Park seconds after a bout of good lovin', while you're still naked and glowing and stuff, chest hair all pert.
Given that this is the most significant issue facing students today, according to a recent one-man survey that placed it just ahead of "droves of innocent people dying everywhere," I say it's time for some accountability. We can hardly take responsibility for our own laziness; in fact, we should be entitled to it. It is the professors, faculty and staff that must shoulder this burden, never ourselves.
We must ... take ... back ... NYU!
Jeez, I need a break.
