NYU's Independent Student Newspaper

Washington Square News

BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

 

Graphic by Beyoncé Knowles

 

Following months of intense speculation, NYU spokesman CJ Cregg announced yesterday that Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence would be the speaker at commencement for the class of 2013.

“It was an exhaustive selection process,” Cregg said in an official statement. “We narrowed down a list of several dozen nominees at the top of their fields, but we kept returning to one name: J-Law.

“And I mean, c’mon, she was adorable at the Oscars,” she said.

Lawrence, known for her star-turning roles in the television series “Monk” and Mel Gibson’s feature film “The Beaver,” seemed like an obvious choice, according to a survey of every male member of the NYU community.

“Clearly you would want a speaker of your age, someone who hasn’t had to go to college, to tell you how life really is,” said Gallatin sophomore Dakota Fanning.

Cregg also said Lawrence was not the university’s first choice.

“We originally planned to have every possible option fight in Washington Square Park for the honor,” Cregg said.

“Robert De Niro, a real New Yorker, was our first choice,” she said. “But, when we had the entire cast of ‘Silver Linings Playbook’ present to interview, and she shot up from her seat to exclaim ‘I volunteer as speaker,’ there really was no other choice.”

When reached for comment, Lawrence would only giggle to a WSN reporter for 10 minutes on the phone. Her response delighted the writer to such an extent that he failed to ask a follow-up question.

NYU students took to Facebook to create a new “Jennifer Lawrence for NYU” fan page, which has since garnered over 20,000 likes.

As the university’s most popular student-made Facebook page, it has been used as a gathering place for students to make Lawrence-related graduation plans.

“Students from the costume design department are planning to wear Mystique-like prosthetics,” said Tisch sophomore Hannah Horvath.

The page’s most popular post is a growing list of students planning to ask Lawrence out on a date as they receive their diplomas.

The word “No” is expected to be said by Lawrence at least 20,000 times on graduation day.

A version of this article appeared in the Monday, April 1 print edition. Seth Cohen is an emo teenager who is from the O.C. Email him at [email protected]

Related Stories

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






2 Comments

2 Responses to “BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013”

  1. Priya on April 1st, 2013 11:37 am

    I thought Ryan Atwood was more of an emo teenager in the O.C. “I volunteer as speaker”. Hahahah!

  2. Bryan on April 1st, 2013 12:24 pm

    Okay… I legit fell for this. But seriously NYU, you need to tell us who is speaking already.

Comments that are deemed spam or hate speech by the moderators will be deleted.

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    NYU Student Sentenced to 45 Days in Jail for Albatross Murders

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    Gene Jarrett to Replace Gabi Starr as CAS Dean

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    SPS Changes Lead to Firing of 10 Faculty Members

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    Leonard N. Stern School of Business Commencement ‘17

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    Global Liberal Studies Commencement ‘17

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    School of Law Commencement ’17

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    Graduates of 185th Commencement Stand for Honor in the Face of Challenge

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    School of Medicine Commencement ‘17

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    College of Arts and Science Commencement ‘17

  • BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013

    NEWS

    Silver School of Social Work Commencement ’17

NYU's Independent Student Newspaper
BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence announced as commencement speaker for class of 2013