"The Romantics" a.k.a. "Rachel Getting Married" a.k.a. I've Seen This Crap Before

Movies shouldn't be allowed to open with a montage set to Vampire Weekend tunes. But, unfortunately for modern-day moviegoers, "The Romantics" does. It's only the tip of the iceberg, however, as this low budget "Rachel Getting Married" knock-off spirals downwards into meaningless drama, crying, and booze guzzling before racing at 90 mph into an ending that made me want to slam my head into a brick wall.

Following the exploits of a group of ivy league college friends who reunite for one of their fellow peer's weddings, all is seemingly okay at first in "The Romantics," until it's fairly obvious that Laura (Katie Holmes) isn't quite over Tom (Josh Duhamel) who is getting married to Lila (Anna Paquin), who was Laura's roommate in college. Oh goodness. Shit clearly goes down.

What plays out is a somewhat frightening fusion of the low budget wedding dramedy, well, drama of "Rachel Getting Married," and the post-collegiate bitching of "St. Elmo's Fire." Of course this doesn't really fuse together all that well, primarily because director Galt Neiderhoffer doesn't bother giving any of the bunch of friends much of a back-story.

Perhaps if I had known more about Laura and Tom than insignificant snippets of their past lengthy (and apparently sordid) relationship then I would actually show some concern over the whole "will-they-won't-they get back together" drama that is stretched out over the film's paltry 100 minute runtime. It would also help, if the film had explained why Lila's brother (Elijah Wood) is a total hot mess of an individual, and why everyone who ever dated anyone in this circle of people is randomly hooking up with each other.

The audience isn't given anything to go with, which is nothing short of bizarre as Neiderhoffer penned the novel that was the source material for the film and the screenplay. I can't help but wonder if she takes similar liberties with her characters in the book's narrative. Perhaps that's why I've never heard of it before. It's certainly the main reason why this movie is borderline unbearable to watch.

Paquin, Holmes, and Duhamel attempt to make the best of what's given to them and, fortunately for this little indie film, give acceptable performances. Holmes nails her character's emotions well in a somewhat intimate role that reminded me a great deal of "Pieces of April," and Paquin is suitably annoying as the bitchy bride-to-be. Duhamel flounders in some of the more serious scenes in the film, and his chemistry with Holmes isn't all that great (the climactic encounter between the two is anything but climactic), and thus he just comes across as boring and WASP-y.

Then again, those two adjectives are appropriate terms to describe most of the folks in this movie. Even if the script didn't have a serious lack of character development and the performances weren't decidedly "meh," it seems as if the indie film circuit has had enough movies about upper class white people drama. The real issue here is that "The Romantics" doesn't really cover anything new. Same shit, and unfortunately, same setting to boot.

Thomas Sullivan is a staff writer. E-mail him at film@nyunews.com.