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Love, Sex and All the Rest: Casual Sex and Platonic Male/Female Friendships

designed by Madison Muller

designed by Madison Muller

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The hookup culture of today thrives off of uncommitted, down-for-business, late-night cameos and hedonistic sex. It’s almost expected that by the time you graduate college, you will have experienced at least one booty call, a one-night stand or a no-strings-attached relationship. Under whatever name or circumstance, it all boils down to a hopefully mutual pursuit of casual sex — purely physical and absolutely non-committal. But how casual is casual sex? And what does it really entail?

First off, casual sex isn’t for everyone. If you’re a relationship person — you know who you are — don’t fool yourself into trying to get physical with someone for a one time hook-up. Chances are you will catch feelings and be harshly reminded that the other party was in it just for the night.

Secondly, know your limits. Because the hookup is primarily about sex, you and the other party are probably just looking to please your own selves. As a result, communication may be limited and each party will be as rough or soft as they want in order to maximize their own pleasure. This could lead to some awkward and uncomfortable sexual experiences. Make sure to keep your limits in mind and communicate with your partner if they’re doing something that’s out of your comfort zone. Casual sex is supposed to be pleasurable, so if you don’t leave satisfied then what’s the point?

Lastly, use protection, people! Casual sex means one-night stands, and one-night stands mean many different people having sex with many other people. And let’s be real, you do not want to end up with an STI after one night of meaningless sex.

So how casual is casual sex? As casual as you make it. As long as you keep it noncommittal, communicate and stay safe, you’re achieving the quintessential casual sex experience while hopefully leaving satisfied.

‘Til next week,

X


Can men and women actually be friends? Or does sex get in the way? It’s an age old question which has no unanimous conclusion. It’s important to address the fact that this is exclusively heterosexual and that we are exclusively talking about heterosexuals in this article. This is an argument that is completely subjective address the fact that this argument is subjective and circumstantial to an individual. I will speak to my personal experiences, but by no means are you the reader supposed to feel that they are the rule, nor are they the exception —  they just are my experiences.

I have been friends with guys platonically but not best friends. My experiences have simply shown me that friendships between myself and straight men either turn into hookups or relationships. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I approach romantic relationships by starting off as friends, and letting it progress to a romantic relationship. Personality and emotional intimacy are important to me and I think prefacing sexual intimacy with friendship is key.

For me, my boyfriend becomes my best guy friend. I have other guy friends, but we are not at the same level of intimacy that my boyfriend and I have, sexual intimacy excluded. I’ve heard that you cannot maintain more than 10 intimate relationships at one time before relationships start to suffer. And I personally find it hard picturing myself maintaining two very intimate relationships with straight men where one is my boyfriend and the other is just a friend.

Moreover, from experience, I know that if my significant other is spending a lot of time with another girl who he claims is just a friend there’s usually something more going on there.

As I move forward, I don’t foresee my opinion changing. But I do understand the nuances and the subjective stances that surround this topic. As I said before, it’s a subjective argument, so I’m curious: What have your experiences been with heterosexual male-female platonic friendships? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Until next week my loves,

O

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1 Comment

One Response to “Love, Sex and All the Rest: Casual Sex and Platonic Male/Female Friendships”

  1. Judy on April 28th, 2016 11:39 am

    I find it silly/an oversight that a sex column for a university with a big LGBTQ population is very much geared towards straight relationships. The platonic relationship question would’ve been much more interesting if it had a queer perspective or discussed how friendships move forward despite romantic complications.

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