The WSN Council of Editors has sadly come to realize that this year’s Halloween will not match the frightfulness of last year’s. Despite valiant efforts on the part of students who try every year to outdo previous Halloween celebrations, last year blew everyone out of the water when a hurricane ripped through the Eastern seaboard, damaging billions of dollars worth of infrastructure and displacing thousands from their homes.
Today, the NYU campus is stormy — but not in a meteorological sense. A desperate student was seen today screaming at a cloudless sky. CAS junior Noah Fisher commented, “Unless the entire lower half of Manhattan is blacked out for at least two weeks this year, Halloween won’t be as scary. It just won’t be the same.” Stern sophomore Diana Moses reiterated the sentiment. “This year, I’m wearing a blindfold and my friend is carrying around an industrial fan and buckets of water to dump on me while I go trick or treating, just so I can feel as scared,” she said.
Misguided attempts by NYU students to change the weather won’t amount to anything. Just months ago, U.S. News and World Report ranked NYU students first in the nation for their “ability to generate a ruckus about issues they are wholly unqualified to diagnose.” No matter how many times they fill up their bathtubs with water, the most terrifying Halloween isn’t coming back.
Sleeping on the floor of the Kimmel Center for Student Life will not have the same appeal this year, and neither will taking cold showers in the Palladium Athletic Facility. Unfortunately, it will be almost impossible to relive the fear of walking 17 blocks, in the almost pitch black, with no traffic signals. NYU students should also not expect random strangers to open up their homes, electrical outlets and toilet facilities. Huddling inside a local Starbucks for Wi-Fi also will not occur this year — or possibly ever again.
With the subways up and running, electricity mostly restored and water flowing underground, this year’s Halloween will not be as chilling. While we encourage NYU students to make the most of the mild breeze and possible drizzle today, we also warn them to lower their expectations for a frightening night. This year, the terror won’t come to you from across the Atlantic, so you’ll have to make do.
A version of this article appeared in the Thursday, Oct. 31 print edition. Email the WSN Council of Editors at [email protected].
